I hate what I'm feeling right now.
I've been sad for so long but this is just too much.
A sudden change of feeling made my heart crashed!
Yes!I 'm broken.I feel so alone.
Why did it happen to me?
I prepared myself to get hurt.Still, I could feel the pain.
Did I fall? Maybe.
Yes, I might be falling for him.
My heart didn't know what it feels.My mind is confused either.
"I love you" is what he always say.
I didn't believe him yet the words became music to my ears.
While hoping this lyric is made only for me, I listened and hummed to it.
I got out of tune because somebody else was humming with me.
Who? they are many to mention.
He, of all the people i knew, disappointed me again.
He sings that song for every girl he likes,too.
Why do I feel cheated?
'Cause he promised that I'm the only one.
I feel stupid for hanging on to that promise.
Even if I'm dying of pain and loneliness,
I shouldn't feel hatred and anger.
I still have the my faithful and loving Saviour.
I know that the evil will take advantage of me with this situation.
"Be stronger and believe in Him.", that's what I should do.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
speechless...
unable to forget...
still, I have this unrequited love.
I wonder what's taking yous o long, it's been five years.
Where are you now?:p
still, I have this unrequited love.
I wonder what's taking yous o long, it's been five years.
Where are you now?:p
Friday, May 21, 2010
Disturbia
I can't concentrate, really! So many thoughts are dancing in my head.
Problems here, whimpers there. Dilemmas are piling up one after another.
Love life, career, family and friends? haha What's wrong with these?
I don't even have the first two.
Why do I feel troubled?
Maybe I just need a break.
....a long and peaceful break.
God Always look upon us. Please:)
Problems here, whimpers there. Dilemmas are piling up one after another.
Love life, career, family and friends? haha What's wrong with these?
I don't even have the first two.
Why do I feel troubled?
Maybe I just need a break.
....a long and peaceful break.
God Always look upon us. Please:)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Her story, His story – Of LOVE
She is the goddess of love and beauty.
He is the man with a sweet smile but looks ordinary.
She captivates men by her magical gaze,
His sincerity makes them fall without a haste.
She said “ I Love You” many times but hadn’t found the one,
He once said “ I love you” to his one and only DIANNE.
She’s looking for the RIGHT ONE.
He’s waiting for TRUE LOVE.
She met the man who she thought would be the one.
He met the girl who he thought would give him true love.
She fell in love,
He fell in love.
They both felt happiness,
happiness which lasted like a train runs in an express.
She loved a married man.
He loved a girl who truly loves somebody else.
She was hurt inside.
He felt wound in his heart.
She tried to forget,
He decided to let go.
They believe:
Everything will be alright,
She’ll come soon.
He’ll meet her in time.
She traveled to have fun and forget,
He stayed with the things which made him recuperate.
She walks by the lake,
He sits in the grass by the lake.
She glances at him.
He smiles at him.
Is HE the one I’m searching for?
Is SHE the love I long for?
At the time their eyes meet, they fall in LOVE again.
She is the goddess of love and beauty.
He is the man with a sweet smile but looks ordinary.
She captivates men by her magical gaze,
His sincerity makes them fall without a haste.
She said “ I Love You” many times but hadn’t found the one,
He once said “ I love you” to his one and only DIANNE.
She’s looking for the RIGHT ONE.
He’s waiting for TRUE LOVE.
She met the man who she thought would be the one.
He met the girl who he thought would give him true love.
She fell in love,
He fell in love.
They both felt happiness,
happiness which lasted like a train runs in an express.
She loved a married man.
He loved a girl who truly loves somebody else.
She was hurt inside.
He felt wound in his heart.
She tried to forget,
He decided to let go.
They believe:
Everything will be alright,
She’ll come soon.
He’ll meet her in time.
She traveled to have fun and forget,
He stayed with the things which made him recuperate.
She walks by the lake,
He sits in the grass by the lake.
She glances at him.
He smiles at him.
Is HE the one I’m searching for?
Is SHE the love I long for?
At the time their eyes meet, they fall in LOVE again.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Impossible Dream?!
And so the judgment day has ended. I was indicted as an “okay-she-passed-the subjects-so-what?!” student. I got my course cards not expecting failed marks at the same time not aiming the Dean’s list.
Wait! Okay, I lied. I am really hoping to see my name in the bulletin board with the top students of this term. It was my dream ever since I entered college. Unfortunately, it didn’t happened even once. I truly miss the feeling of being honored. I’m not bragging but I was an achiever since elementary and high school. I don’t know what happened to me and I neglected my studies. I guess I was discouraged when I first received a failing grade in my programming course. Don’t ask why because it’s obvious. The subject is as hard as counting the sand in the beaches. Can you imagine that?! Only the geniuses can pass that. I’m just kidding it was my entire fault.
Well, I tried hard to cope with the times I wasted. But no matter how I try, it’s insufficient. What should I do? There’s only one term left and I can’t see any hope with the subjects I will take :( Oh! I don’t want to believe that it’s an impossible dream.
As I get the course cards today, I was on tenterhooks to see what grades I made. First I got a 2.5, then another 2.5, followed by three 3.0s and the last one – I was praying it’s a 4. Unluckily, I saw a 3.5. *sigh* “All right, it would never happen”, I murmur to myself.
Why is being in the dean’s list creates a big fuss? Maybe because of fame, honor and additional bling-bling in one’s resume – I do not know. Everyone has their own unique reasons. As for me, I wanted to present it to my parents as a gift for their hard work and continuous support for sending me to such a prestige school. (Acting as a good daughter.) Seriously, I am a good daughter. XD
I realized that I shouldn’t be disappointed like this now. I am already blessed and worthy of the grades I got. Although, DL seems an unreachable dream I will give my best. As what my friends told me: “We can do it! Don’t lose hope and give it your best shot!” I will try again.
Wait! Okay, I lied. I am really hoping to see my name in the bulletin board with the top students of this term. It was my dream ever since I entered college. Unfortunately, it didn’t happened even once. I truly miss the feeling of being honored. I’m not bragging but I was an achiever since elementary and high school. I don’t know what happened to me and I neglected my studies. I guess I was discouraged when I first received a failing grade in my programming course. Don’t ask why because it’s obvious. The subject is as hard as counting the sand in the beaches. Can you imagine that?! Only the geniuses can pass that. I’m just kidding it was my entire fault.
Well, I tried hard to cope with the times I wasted. But no matter how I try, it’s insufficient. What should I do? There’s only one term left and I can’t see any hope with the subjects I will take :( Oh! I don’t want to believe that it’s an impossible dream.
As I get the course cards today, I was on tenterhooks to see what grades I made. First I got a 2.5, then another 2.5, followed by three 3.0s and the last one – I was praying it’s a 4. Unluckily, I saw a 3.5. *sigh* “All right, it would never happen”, I murmur to myself.
Why is being in the dean’s list creates a big fuss? Maybe because of fame, honor and additional bling-bling in one’s resume – I do not know. Everyone has their own unique reasons. As for me, I wanted to present it to my parents as a gift for their hard work and continuous support for sending me to such a prestige school. (Acting as a good daughter.) Seriously, I am a good daughter. XD
I realized that I shouldn’t be disappointed like this now. I am already blessed and worthy of the grades I got. Although, DL seems an unreachable dream I will give my best. As what my friends told me: “We can do it! Don’t lose hope and give it your best shot!” I will try again.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Do not disturb!
My mind is busy thinking of what significant things to do while my heart is tired of entertaining peculiar and unexplainable emotions.
Hatred, love, depression, bliss, my past, my future, you, me, the whole lot about us.
Everything is in mess – all mixed up!
Right now, I just want to scream and cry. No one understands me, no one cares. No matter how I calm myself, I can feel that not a soul is there to comfort me! I can’t trust anybody – it’s just me and GOD.
For the meantime, I wanted to put a barrier that nobody can enter or hide beneath the earth that not even you can get through. What’s wrong with me?! I’m scared that this feeling will lead to hatred. I don’t want to hate anyone – just myself.
Do not disturb! That’s my simple plea. Let this feeling fade away before I face you. When will be the right time? Maybe seven days, a month or a year? I don’t know when but I hope it won’t take long. :(
Hatred, love, depression, bliss, my past, my future, you, me, the whole lot about us.
Everything is in mess – all mixed up!
Right now, I just want to scream and cry. No one understands me, no one cares. No matter how I calm myself, I can feel that not a soul is there to comfort me! I can’t trust anybody – it’s just me and GOD.
For the meantime, I wanted to put a barrier that nobody can enter or hide beneath the earth that not even you can get through. What’s wrong with me?! I’m scared that this feeling will lead to hatred. I don’t want to hate anyone – just myself.
Do not disturb! That’s my simple plea. Let this feeling fade away before I face you. When will be the right time? Maybe seven days, a month or a year? I don’t know when but I hope it won’t take long. :(
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Goodbye..
My heart is screaming out loud tonight. I can’t stop myself from crying. Every time I look back to the photographs of our past, my tears start to fall. Now, I’m drowning in my own sea of loneliness. Why’d you have to go? I know the answer but I can’t accept the fact that you won’t stay here anymore. The very moment you told us that you’re leaving, we showed sad emotions. Counting the remaining days we could spend together, we used the time to make memoirs of happiness, youthfulness and friendships. So sad but true, we’ll be far away from you.
Those memories we made together - the never-ending laughter that made our tummy ache, the tears we shed, the sleepless nights we had to make our annoying reports, and the craziest things we done together, I’ll treasure all of these in my heart forever. Yes, only memories will keep me closer to you. It makes me really sad. :( Expressing how much I treasure this friendship is a challenge. You may think that I don’t care at all but when you come across my mind you’ll see that it’s one of the things I cherish the most.
Good bye is a painful thing to say but it’s an assurance that we will see each other again. Three or four years, no matter how long it will take, we were still here and wait for you ‘til the end. We wish you good luck and God bless. Give it your best! We will be cheering on you, dearest friend.
Now, it’s time to say good bye. I can’t stop these tears but I’ll give my sincerest smile. I want you to remember only the happy things so you wouldn’t have to cry. I will miss you. Until we meet again my friend. :)
Those memories we made together - the never-ending laughter that made our tummy ache, the tears we shed, the sleepless nights we had to make our annoying reports, and the craziest things we done together, I’ll treasure all of these in my heart forever. Yes, only memories will keep me closer to you. It makes me really sad. :( Expressing how much I treasure this friendship is a challenge. You may think that I don’t care at all but when you come across my mind you’ll see that it’s one of the things I cherish the most.
Good bye is a painful thing to say but it’s an assurance that we will see each other again. Three or four years, no matter how long it will take, we were still here and wait for you ‘til the end. We wish you good luck and God bless. Give it your best! We will be cheering on you, dearest friend.
Now, it’s time to say good bye. I can’t stop these tears but I’ll give my sincerest smile. I want you to remember only the happy things so you wouldn’t have to cry. I will miss you. Until we meet again my friend. :)
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