Burying this painful feeling in the grave of my past is as hard as solving a calculus problem. I always thought that LOVE will bring me delight, pleasure and contentment. I’m sure that LOVE is heaven. But all this confidence I had in love has been washed away the very moment I experienced it. It was all vague assumptions. I may sound like I was a LOVE-hater, but I’ll tell you: No, I’m not! I was just blinded by the lies of what they say “The Beauty of Love” and now I’m awakened. LOVE is indeed beautiful if and only if it was shared by two people. Unfortunately, I thought we were deeply in-LOVE, that we both felt it, but I was mistaken. I was the only one, me and myself alone. It was one-sided. I tried to resist but that feeling is strong that I can’t do anything but to bear with it. It lasted for days, then weeks, months and months and sadly for years. I waited so long hoping that he’ll knock at my heart even just for once. And as expected, he didn’t even passed by. Do you know how painful it was? It’s like I was stabbed directly in the heart. Bleeding, wounded and still unhealed, silently my heart is crying.
It wasn’t his fault. I’m the one who chose to be hurt. Yes! The blame is all in me. Everything has been done, no one can change it. It’s better to leave it that way. Now, I’m taking the path I chose: Continue to love him until the day I can fully heal this wounded heart of mine. Am I being martyr? Forgetting someone is as difficult as trying to remember a person when you have amnesia. I don’t want to fill up my pain meter. It has a limited capacity and might explode soon. It’s better this way. I’m contented just seeing him from afar even though slowly, he's walking away.
It wasn’t his fault. I’m the one who chose to be hurt. Yes! The blame is all in me. Everything has been done, no one can change it. It’s better to leave it that way. Now, I’m taking the path I chose: Continue to love him until the day I can fully heal this wounded heart of mine. Am I being martyr? Forgetting someone is as difficult as trying to remember a person when you have amnesia. I don’t want to fill up my pain meter. It has a limited capacity and might explode soon. It’s better this way. I’m contented just seeing him from afar even though slowly, he's walking away.
wow. you deserve an applause.
ReplyDeletethings just happen because it has to not because we wanted to. Bear in mind, there are things that aren't meant for us. Acceptance is one thing that we have to consider.
thanks,,,:)
ReplyDeleteWell, it took me years to accept that he's not really meant for me..:D and no matter how hard i push it,things won't work the way i wanted it to be ..the more I insist and push him to love me in return, the more He breaks away from me..:( So sad but true,,for him there's no KESPER..haha ang emo ko ee...:P
It's not that we're being EMO. Don’t label yourself as if you belong. HAHA.
ReplyDeleteThere are just feelings that we barely express and sometimes an outlet is badly needed to survive. Take chances. Don't just quit cause you're not a loser. Be brave cause a person like you is worth to keep. ;]
*hugs* i'M touched,,hehe thanks but i decided to quit,, there's no hope nor chances to wait for... he already moved on,,and i'm the only one whose stucked and left behind..it's time for me to move forward and find another prospect...wuahaha...si crush kaya? hmmmm
ReplyDeleteHaha if that's the case then you really have to give up. =] Wooow new prospect. Pwede. ;] Pero madami ka kaagaw. Kasama na ako dun. Joooke. ;p Yung isa na sakin.:DDD
ReplyDeletedun na lng ako sa walang aagaw, sinu naman kaya un? ehem XD so far wala pa naman. hihi. ikaw ha! si crush gusto mo..XD
ReplyDeleteHAHA. Hindi na. Sayo na si Cras!pero nikikilig parin ako sakanya. :DD HOHO.
ReplyDeleteayoko na din dun...kay maxine na lng sya hihi..ako wala ng crush,,XD
ReplyDelete